


Ship To Wreck

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Eventual Smut, First Time, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony began to recognize their feelings towards each other. Too bad the don't realize that the feelings are mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony was in the workshop again and Steve was starting to worry. Tony hadn't taken the news about Agent Coulson well. After helping Clint and Natasha find him, Tony had told Steve, Thor, and Bruce that their agent was alive and apparently well enough to lead a new team, then promptly locked himself away. He hadn't left the workshop in three days. Three days with his only company being his bots and JARVIS. So Steve was going to the workshop. Steve was going to go down there with food and demand Tony at least take a nap. He doubted very much that Tony had slept. 

"JARVIS, when was the last time Tony slept," Steve asked the very helpful AI.

"It has been exactly 56 hours, 12 minutes and 33 seconds since Sir last slept." 

"And for exactly how long did he sleep?"

"Two hours, 37 minutes and 15 seconds." 

"So in the last 72 hours, Tony has slept less than three hours?"

"Yes, Captain Rogers, that is correct. I should also inform you that Sir has only eaten four slices of burnt toast made by Dummy and has had 48 cups of black coffee." 

"Thank you, JARVIS. That information is very helpful. Can you get takeout delivered from that burger place he likes?" 

"Certainly Captain. Shall I tell Sir to expect you?" 

"No, he will just lock me out." Steve let out a long suffering sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, tipping his head back. 

"I know how you feel Captain. If you would like to speak to someone else who understands I would gladly call Ms. Potts for you."

"No thanks, JARVIS."

Twenty minutes later, with food in hand, Steve went down to Tony's workshop. He knocked loudly on the glass door despite knowing Tony wouldn't be able to hear it over the blaring music. JARVIS helpfully cut the noise level and Steve knocked again. 

"Fine, J, fine," Tony yelled as he walked to the door. "What do you want, Steve?"

"I haven't seen you in three days. I brought food. Burgers, from that place you like on 46th."

Tony scowled but asked, "Are there fries and onion rings?" 

"And two burgers with your name on them."

"Did J rat me out? Of course he did. JARVIS, I am reprogramming you."

"Certainly, Sir. Whatever you need," the AI replied. 

"Okay Steve, let's go eat."

The two men walked to the old ratty couch in the workshop and sat. Tony pulled the coffee table closer so they could set the food down. 

"How are you Tony? And be honest. I know you aren't fine. People who are fine don't go on workshop benders with no food and little sleep." Steve looked Tony square in the eyes, as if to say 'if you lie to me I will hold you down until you talk.'

"I'm... I don't know. I'm angry. I'm confused. I'm... I always know everything. And if I don't know it, I can hack my way into it. And I didn't know this. And I didn't find this. I spent plenty of time on the SHIELD servers and I didn't find it. I let them down..." Tony looked down. He must have been more tired than he thought. Tony was the king of deflection and not talking about anything that meant anything and here he was telling Steve his feelings. Fuck, maybe he did need some sleep. But food first. Food first then sleep. 

Steve reached out, almost placing his hand on Tony's knee but pulled back at the last second. "You didn't let anyone down, Tony. There was no way you could have found that. I very much doubt Fury let those records be on any computer."

"But Steve, he had to have been sending in reports." 

"And I can almost guarantee they are not under his name." 

"But Steve..."

"No, Tony. There is no way they you could have found out. I refuse to let your blame yourself. The only person to blame for this is Fury. And probably Hill." 

"Fine." Tony took a large bite of his burger and chewed thoughtfully. The food had gone untouched while they talked. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Tony inhaled the rest of his first burger. 

"So, how're you Steve," Tony asked, still chewing the last bite of his burger. 

"I'm okay."

Tony raised an eyebrow, "Really?" 

"Well..."

"Steve, you are also not fine. Your best friend came back from the dead as mindwiped assassin cyborg. No one would be even a little bit okay. Let alone a man who woke up in the wrong century like, two years ago."

"I feel awful. Bucky is out there. There is basically nothing I can do about it but wait."

"I'm sorry Steve. I have been a shitty friend. I should be helping you look. I will." 

"Thank you, Tony. I appreciate it. I know you have a lot of work to do."

"It's fine. I can have JARVIS run background facial recognition scans." Tony waved his hand dismissively. 

"You're a good guy, Tony. People never give you enough credit for that." This time, Steve didn't stop himself when he reached for Tony. He set a hand gently on the man's knee. "Thank you."

Tony patted Steve's hand. "Aww shucks big guy." He looked at Steve with a shy smile. 

"I'm very sorry to interrupt, Sir, Captain. Ms. Potts is on the line demanding to speak with you."

"J, did you tell her about my sleeping habits?"

"Of course, Sir. It is in my protocols." If an AI could sound sheepish, JARVIS did. 

"Tony! You are eating and you are going to bed!" Pepper's voice rang through the lab. 

"Just ate, Pep. About to go to bed now," Tony replied. 

"By bed, I mean your actual bed, Tony. Not the couch in the workshop" 

"I'll make sure he goes to bed, Ms. Potts. Even if I have to carry him there and sit outside the door." Steve looked at Tony with a sly smirk as he spoke.

"Thank you Captain Rogers."

"Steve, please."

"Only if you call me Pepper." 

Steve blushed slightly. 

"Okay Tony. Bedtime." Steve stood and reached out as hand. Tony took it. His stomach did a little flip at the contact. Tony didn't want to let go. After he was up off the couch, Steve hastily dropped his hand. 

"Now will you go to bed or do I need to actually follow you?" Steve's face turned red as he spoke. 

Tony put his head down and reach up to brush the back of his neck just to hide his own flushed cheeks and chuckled. "No, Steve, I can put myself to bed."

The two men walked to the elevator together, a little closer than necessary. Their shoulders almost brushed. Neither man addressed this fact. The elevator stopped at the penthouse, completely bypassing Steve's floor. The men raised their eyebrows. 

"Might as well walk to to your door. JARVIS doesn't seem to trust you."

"No. He and I will be having words. And dismantling of his programming."

They walked down the hall in a slightly awkward silence. When they got to Tony's bedroom door, Tony spoke an awkward and mumbled "Wellgoodnight," without looking at Steve and hastily shut his door. He leaned his side against it and pressed his hand flat to the door. Steve unknowingly mirrored the gesture on the other side of the door. After a while, Tony unhitched himself from the door and spoke to his AI.

"I know what you are trying to do J. It's not okay. It's not okay."

"What ever do you mean, sir?"

"Pepper and I broke up six months ago. It has nothing to do with Steve. It has everything to do with my inability to give up being a super hero."

"Certainly, whatever you say, Sir. I was merely implying that you would immediately reverse the elevator and return to the workshop if he did not walk you to your bedroom door."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going to tell tales on me to Steve if I shower before I sleep?"


	2. Chapter 2

Tony showed up for breakfast in the kitchen around 11:30 am, yawning and grumbling about coffee. Steve was sitting at the table with a file labeled Winter Soldier in both English and Russian spread out before him along with a list of known Hydra bases and hideouts that Tony had been able to cull from the wreckage of the SHIELD/Hydra computer systems. 

"Morning, Tony. Coffee is in the pot. I would have made you breakfast but I didn't know when you would be up. Though now I suppose lunch would be appropriate..." Steve trailed off and scratched behind his ear as he glanced over. His face colored. 

"Why the blush Capsicle?" Tony looked down. "Oh shit, I forgot pants. Coffee was more important than pants. Let me just grab my cup and go." Tony poured his coffee distractedly and walked back towards the elevator in a rush. He caught his elbow on the corner of the counter, spilling his coffee on himself. "Oh fuck. Today sucks already and I just got up." 

Steve, still blushing, jumped from his spot at the table and grabbed paper towels. "Let me help." He began mopping the floor at Tony's feet. Tony bent down to stop as Steve the other man started to stand. The back of Steve's head hit Tony on the chin causing him to bite his tongue. 

"Shit, sorry Tony. I... God damn it."

"My goodness, Cap, the mouth on you," Tony grinned, despite adding a sore tongue you his growing list of complaints. 

“Let me make it up to you? Breakfast? We can go out or I can cook.”

“Go out like a date Capsicle?” Tony wiggled his eyebrows, trying to make a joke. Too bad it was something he really wanted. Steve blushed scarlet, starting at his cheeks and creeping down his neck. Tony wondered exactly how far that blush went. Maybe someday, but probably not, Tony thought to himself. No use in getting his hopes up.

“I... What… N... What,” Steve sputtered out in response.

“Relax, it’s a joke Steve.” 

“Oh…” Steve looked disappointed. Tony was confused. Did Steve want to go on a date? No way. Steve was way too good for him, at least Tony thought.

Steve looked down at his feet, trying to hide the look of sadness on his face. He’d been so close.

Clint picked this moment to enter the kitchen and clear his throat. “Well hello gentlemen. Was I interrupting?”

“Nothing to interrupt, Legolas. Just spilled my coffee,” Tony replied, trying to sound more casual than he felt.

“Whatever you say Tony. Whatever you say.” Clint looked between the two mean with a sly grin. He’d spoken to both men about their feelings. Steve looked sheepish, blush darkening further on his cheeks. Clint turned to look at his friend pointedly. “What about you Steve? How’s your morning?”

“Oh, umm, umm, I… Good? I guess?” Steve was stumbling over his words again. He hated this sputtering incoherence that Tony seemed to be bringing out in him this morning. He needed to get himself under control. He needed to get over these feelings. He was almost certain Tony didn’t return them and if he confessed and Tony didn’t reciprocate, it would be bad for the team. No, better to push them down and suffer in silence. But then there was Clint, looking at him pointedly.

“Okay, well, if there isn’t any more coffee up here, I am just going to go make some in the workshop. See you later.”

“Wait, Tony, what about breakfast?” 

“I’ll just get Dummy to make me a smoothie. I’ll be fine. No worries Capsicle.” Tony made hasty retreat.

Steve looked at Clint and groaned. “I need to let this go. How do I let this go?”

“You really, really don’t Steve. We’ve had this talk before. You should tell him. It’s stupid, all this time you’re wasting.”

“It’s so easy for you to say. You must have known Phil’s feelings about you before. I mean, I see you guys together and it so obviously how ridiculously in love you are.” 

“It took years of pining, dozens of lectures from Natasha and four near death experiences before Phil or I said anything. We wasted so much time. Don’t make that mistake Steve. Tony is absolutely head over heels, crazy, stupid about you. Why do you think he and Pepper really broke up?”

“They broke up because he couldn’t stop being Iron Man.”

“Sure, Steve. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

 

Tony mentally kicked himself the entire way down to the workshop. "Why the fuck do I have to open my stupid mouth," he muttered to himself. "Every time I do, I say something monumentally stupid and ruin everything. I should just never leave the workshop." He got down to the workshop and started working on whatever project he found first and continued working all day and through the night.

 

A day later, with no sign of Tony, Steve asked JARVIS, “Hey, JARVIS, did Tony actually eat anything yesterday?” 

“No, Captain. He did not. Nor did he eat anything today.” 

"I'll bring him some pizza. Call it in for me please."

"My pleasure, Captain. Would you like the double meat special?"

"Yes. Get some garlic knots too. Thank you!"

Steve decided to grab a few beers from the fridge to take down to the workshop with him. Maybe it would help ease some of the awkwardness. As soon as the pizza was delivered and he tipped the driver, Steve jammed the button for the elevator. He didn't need to but it gave him something to do to ease the discomfort under his skin. The elevator ride felt like forever. 

"For what it's worth, Captain, I think Tony would say yes if you were to ask him to dinner outside of the tower," JARVIS spoke as the elevator moved. 

Steve drew his eyebrows up, confused by the AI's intervention. "Thank you. I think."

"My pleasure Captain. I only want what is best for Sir."

He rode the rest of the way in silence, mulling over what JARVIS had said. Was Tony actually interested? Did he and Pepper really break up because of him, like Clint intimated? The elevator slid open and music blared from the workshop, jarring Steve from his thoughts. The music lowered.

"Hey, Tony! I brought pizza and beer," Steve called, looking for the genius amid the maze of clutter. He could hear the sound of a blowtorch running towards the back. Steve set down the pizza and most of the beer on the table by the couch, keeping one in hand to give Tony when he found him. He followed the sound of the blow torch until he found Tony. He waited patiently, watching the swell of lean muscle move in Tony's arms as he worked on a piece of his next gen suit. Tony was lean and wiry but strong. People always forgot that even though he was physically smaller than the rest of the men on the team, discounting Bruce as Bruce, he was still strong. He could fight well without the armor if he ever tried. Steve was so entranced with watching the movements that he actually jumped when Tony turned off the torch and flipped up his mask.

"Oh, hey Cap! Didn't hear you come in." Tony grinned at Steve as he shed his gloves and removed his mask. "Have you been here long?"

"Only a few minutes. I brought pizza and beer." He handed the beer to Tony with a shy smile. "Want to take a break from work and watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah sure. Where were we in Doctor Who? I could go for some Time Lord antics."

"We just finished season three. So first episode of season four." Steve couldn't help but smile. He enjoyed the show. It was fun and silly.

"Oh, good one. Is the good Doctor okay with you?" 

"Absolutely! Let's go eat." Steve stuck out his hand holding the beer for Tony to take, which the man grabbed from him.

"Great. I am starving," Tony said as he waltzed past Steve, trying for an air of nonchalance. He didn't quite make it. There was a little too much eagerness and bounce for that he knew. But maybe he could pass it off as his excitement for pizza. Pizza was a thing for excitement, right? Steve followed at a not quite safe distance behind, close enough to reach out and grab a hand, but he didn't. They reached the couch soon enough and sat down, leaving enough space for another person at first. Tony inched a little closer and Steve blushed. And god did Tony love it when Steve blushed. He scooted even a little closer and reached for a slice of pizza. 

"Hit the lights and put on Partners in Crime J!"

The two men watched as they ate and slid unconsciously closer to each other as the meal finished and they watched another episode, as if pulled in by a magnet. They had been orbiting each for months. Now, Steve was reaching his arm up and sliding his hand into Tony's hair. 

"Tony," he exhaled, barely a whisper as the darker man turned to him. 

Tony's eyes widened, awed, as he said, "Steve, I..." His thought trailed off as Steve leaned in to kiss him.

"Sir, Captain, I am quite sorry to interrupt but Sergeant Barnes has been found. He is in New York City," JARVIS spoke as the system turned off the screen and brightened the lights. 

Steve sprang off the couch as though he were shot with a jolt of electricity. "Tony... I... I have to... I'm sorry..."

"Steve, go. I understand."

At that Steve sprinted from the lab and left Tony standing in shock.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short. Sorry guys. It's like a bridge to what comes next.

Fuck his life. Fuck his goddamn life, Tony thought to himself. He knew these thoughts were selfish but right now he didn’t care. He was so close, so very close, to starting something with Steve. And while he was happy for his friend, he was miserable. He worried that he would lose Steve for good. Now that Bucky was back, he’d missed his chance. Steve would choose Bucky, no question. Tony locked the door to the lab and sat back down and put his head in hands. He should have listened to Clint. How fucked up was that, he should have listened to Clint. He groaned out his frustration. 

“Okay, Tony. Get your shit together and get back to work,” he told himself out loud. Work was the best way he knew to bury his feelings. So he would work. As much as he could for as long as he could.

 

Steve stood in the elevator, leg jiggling, anxious to be on the move. Bucky was back. If he was in the city, he wanted to be found. He wanted to be found.

“Captain Rogers, shall I notify Agent Romanoff and Mr. Wilson of this development," JARVIS asked Steve. The AI was always a step ahead. Steve shouldn't have been surprised. Tony created him and Tony was the smartest man Steve ever knew, outclassing even Howard and Dr. Erskine. 

"That would be appreciated. I don't want to go in without backup. Tell them to meet me on the common floor and to bring weapons. We don't know what state Bucky will be in.”

Fifteen minutes later, Natasha, Sam and Steve left the tower, heading towards the alley where JARVIS last reported Bucky’s location. They arrived in ten minutes later at the mouth of the alley. 

“Keep your hands on your weapons but don’t draw. I am going in unarmed.” Steve walked towards the back of the alley with his hands raised. The man sat utterly still, his long hair greasy and lank, a scruffy beard covering the his gaunt and filthy face. Steve could see the hollows in his cheeks even through his beard. “Bucky, it’s me. It’s Stevie. I’m unarmed.”

“I remember. I remember you. Stevie....” The man’s voice croaked with disuse. He stood slowly, a flash of his metal arm in the dull light of the alley.

Steve crept closer. “Oh god, Buck.” He reached Bucky and folded the other man in his arms. Bucky’s skin felt feverish and he was shivering. They both had tears in their eyes. “Buck, where have you been.”

“Couldn’t come back Stevie. Not ‘til I remembered. But I ain’t hidin’ anymore. Not from you Stevie. Not ever.” When they released their embrace, Bucky staggered on his feet. Steve slid an arm underneath Bucky’s shoulders, supporting him as they walked.

“Let’s get you back to the tower. Get you cleaned up. Nat! Sam! We’re coming back out. Everything’s okay but I think may need to get Happy here to drive us back. It may be faster to walk with all the traffic but I don’t think Bucky is steady enough on his feet. Ask JARVIS to notify medical.” Sam walked to meet Steve and Bucky to prop up Bucky's other side. 

"Come on big guy. Let's get you home."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is not okay. No one hates Tony Stark more than Tony Stark.

Natasha and Sam helped deposit Bucky on the medical floor of Avengers Tower. The doctor and a few nurses came in and got Bucky seated on the bed. 

“He looks dehydrated and malnourished. We will need to do testing to determine anything else. Bucky, Bucky. Look at me, we need to put in an IV. Can you let me do that,” the doctor asked.

“Stevie! Don’t let them hurt me Stevie!” Bucky’s eyes filled with fear. He was shaking with panic.

“We may need to sedate him,” the doctor whispered to the nurse over Bucky’s head.

“Don’t let ‘em, Stevie. Help me please.”

If the people who done this to Bucky, made him panic at the thought of any medical care, weren't already dead, Steve would hunt them down and let Natasha have her way with them. But they were gone. There was no one to punish and Steve wanted to scream in frustration. “I’m right here, Buck. They won’t hurt you. They are here to help you. They want to give you some medicine to help you feel calm and less scared. Can you do that? For me,” Steve pleaded with his friend.

Bucky relented and let the nurse inject him with some sort of medication. The effect was immediate and Bucky started slowing down, wobbling where he sat. He gripped tightly to his friend’s hand. “Don’ leave me Stevie. Don’ lea’ me, please,” he whimpered, voice slurring. His eyes closed as he fought to stay awake under the effects of the medication.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Buck. I won’t leave you. I won’t leave,” Steve soothed. He reached over and ran his hands through Bucky’s hair. “I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he whispered and pressed a kiss to his friend’s forehead.

Natasha stuck her head in the door. “You okay Steve? Need anything?” 

“Nah, I just wanna sit here with him.”

“You let us know what you need, okay? We’re here for you.”

“Thanks, Tash. I appreciate it. I just…” Steve trailed off. The exhaustion started to hit him. He hadn’t realized how much fear he’d been suppressing all day. He watched as the nurses placed an IV in the back of Bucky’s hand. They took blood and hung a bag of fluids. Steve fell asleep, hunched over, head resting on his arm, hand still in Bucky’s, listening to the comforting steady beep of the heart monitoring, ensuring his best friend’s heart had a steady rhythm.

 

_______________________________________

 

“Sir, I wanted to alert you that Captain Rogers has returned with Sergeant Barnes. They are on the Avengers medical floor. The doctor is with them now.”

Tony looked up, slightly startled. “What?”

“Captain Rogers has returned with Sergeant Barnes. They are on the medical floor. The doctor is with them.”

“Thanks, J. Crank the music back up. I’ll check on them after I finish this.” He returned to tinkering with the new repulsor upgrade for the suit.

 

Hours later, Tony walked to the hospital wing, hoping to catch Steve and apologize for any awkwardness of the morning. He would try to get a read on Steve’s feelings then. Tony was admittedly, quite shitty at reading other people but he knew there was something there, something between them…

That was until he saw Steve asleep, hand in hand with an equally unconscious Bucky. Maybe Tony was wrong. The door was open. Tony backed away slowly and quietly trying to avoid being heard by the super soldiers. When he got to the end of the hallway, Tony asked, “J, can you keep an extra close feed on them? Let me know if they need anything?”

“Certainly, Sir. Shall I keep a video line open in the workshop?”

“No J, that would be an invasion of privacy. I don’t. I don’t want to do that. Just let me know if they need anything. And once I get back downstairs, lockdown protocols. No one in. Hold all calls.”

“But Sir,”

“No! Not even Pepper. If she calls, tell her I am working on that StarkPad design she wanted and then I am moving on to that robotic arm for that surgery thingy we talked about.”

“But, Sir, what about…”

“No, JARVIS. I just want to work. Now, ACDC. And loud.”

Tony threw himself back into work, hoping to forget the picture of Steve curled up with his head on Bucky’s bed. God damn it. Just when they had been getting somewhere… That was just Tony Starks, god awful, rotten, shit luck. He didn’t think he deserved Steve anyway. Steve was too wholesome. Too good. Too kind. Barnes deserved that. After all he’d been through, Barnes deserved Steve’s goodness. Tony hadn’t deserved Pepper. And he thought if he hadn’t deserved her, he certainly didn’t deserve Steve. He let the music drown out his thoughts and worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try to update this story every other week. I make no guarantees. Summer is tough. And I am going on vacation in 2 weeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is just not dealing with things. He refuses.

Over the next week, Steve refused to leave Bucky’s room. Natasha and Sam tried to pull him out to sleep, but Steve wouldn’t budge. After the first two, they brought him a cot so he would sleep. But he worried about Tony. While everyone else worried about Steve and about Bucky, Clint worried about Tony. He had the sense something almost happened before the call came in to bring Bucky home. Tony had only resurfaced from the workshop for coffee once in the seven days. So Clint was worried.

“JARVIS? What does Steve usually bring Tony to get him out of the shop? Or at least to feed him,” Clint asked the AI.

“A cheeseburger will never fail to get him to eat Agent Barton. I must warn you, Sir has put lockdown protocols in place. He may not allow you in the lab,” the AI helpfully informed him.

“Just get the burgers. I have to try. If I can’t get him, we’ll call Rhodey or Pepper.”

“Colonel Rhodes is current in the country and would likely be able to fly to New York in a matter of hours. Ms. Potts is unfortunately in Malibu at Stark Industries California headquarters.”

“Thank you JARVIS. Let’s just make sure to have the call to Rhodey ready.”

 

Tony heard Clint pounding on the glass doors of the workshop and chose to ignore it. He sipped a smoothie Dummy had made, unsure of when but it seemed pretty cold, if melted. He was sure it was fine. Clint continued to pound of the glass door and Tony continued to ignore him. This went on for half an hour before the knocking stopped, which Tony only noticed because a video call was coming in from Rhodey.

“J! I said do not disturb! Did I not say do not disturb? Do. Not. Disturb. J, do you know what that means?”

“Of course, Sir. But Colonel Rhodes seemed to think this important enough to breach those protocols. As of now, he, Ms. Potts, and Captain Rogers all have the ability to override those protocols in case of emergency. If you would not like them to have this ability, might I suggest rewriting my code Sir.”

“MIT, J! If you keep up with the level of sass, I will donate your programming for undergrads to play with at MIT!”

“I shall endeavor to do better, Sir.” If an AI could sound sarcastic, JARVIS did in that moment.

“Fine,” Tony grumbled. “Patch Rhodey in.”

 

“Tones! How ya doin’?”

“What’s the emergency, Rhodey? I’m busy.”

“No emergency really. Just wondering if you need a visit. I hear that Bucky has been found. Figured it might not be so easy on you. You should let Clint in when we’re done. He brought you burgers.”

“Did he call you?”

“No.”

“Liar. I am surrounded by dirty traitors. JARVIS, we need to kick everyone out of the tower.”

“Certainly Sir, I will alert the team and notify Ms. Potts,” JARVIS replied. If it had eyes, they would be rolling.

Rhodey did roll his eyes. “You love it Tony. I am coming to the city tomorrow and you and I are going out.”

“But…”

“No ‘but,’” Rhodey interrupts. “It’s happening. I’ll be there Friday. Now let Clint in. Burgers, Tony. Then sleep.”

“But…”

“No, Tony. I can tell by looking at you that you haven’t slept at all in two days and haven’t showered in four. Burgers, shower, sleep. And talk to Clint. I have a feeling he gets what you are going through.”

Tony relented and let the archer into the lab, grumbling as he did so. “I know you called Rhodey. Asshole.”

“You needed an intervention. Pepper wasn’t getting through. So I called in the last line of defense.” Clint held out the bag that was slowly soaking up the burger grease. “There are two bacon cheeseburgers with extra bacon and jalapenos with your name on them. Now sit down on your damn couch and eat. No more of this ‘Well, Dummy made me a smoothie,’ bullshit. We both know he sucks at it and half the time they may have motor oil in them.”

“Hey! I throw those away as soon as I realize they taste funny!”

“Usually after half the smoothie because you are too distracted to taste it. You need to eat. I will tie you down and force feed you if I have to.”

“Ooo, kinky, Legolas. How would Agent Agent and the Itsy Bitsy Spider feel about this.”

“I won’t tell Tash you called her that if you eat both burgers and then go to bed. And not on the couch. In an actual bed. I may not be Steve but I got arms, Mr. Roboto, and I will use them to carry your ass.”

“Fine,” Tony retorted, looking slightly strained.

“Now, we are going to talk.” Clint looked at Tony and held his gaze. “You have been holed up in here since they found Barnes. Something happened, and by your squirrelly behavior, right before that call came in.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Do not even try to bullshit me Stark. I will have Phil taze you.” Clint gave Tony a steely look..

“Fine. Fine. We had an almost moment. Doesn’t mean anything. Barnes is back. Steve should be with him…” Tony trailed off, not voicing the “because I don’t deserve him” that was constantly floating around in the back of his mind.

“Almost moment?”

“Almost moment. I… He… We…” he sputtered. 

“Words. Use your words.”

“We almost kissed. Okay? Got it? I don’t want to fucking talk about it. I don’t deserve him anyway. I’ll back out and let him be with his childhood sweetheart. I’ll be fine. Can we drop it?”

Clint looked sad. “Oh, Tony. Do you really think you don’t deserve him?” His voice was almost a whisper. 

“No, I really, really don’t.”

“I have been in your shoes, Tony.” Clint reached out and placed a hand tentatively on Tony’s shoulder. “I felt that way about Phil, for a really long time. And it stopped us from being together for years. Don’t let that happen you. You deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

“Clint, I fuck up literally everything when it comes to people. I have ruined every relationship I have ever been in by drinking too much, working too much, working not enough, even being a god damned superhero is too much. If I didn’t deserve Pepper, then I certainly don’t deserve Steve…” Tony trailed off.

 

“You are so much better than you give yourself credit for. You are a good man, Tony Stark. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I, as a general rule, don’t trust anyone. It took me a long time to even trust Phil. But I trust you. More importantly, Natasha trusts you. And that is saying something. Other than the residents of this tower and Phil Coulson. Natasha trusts no one. She has seen you at your self-destructive worst and she still trusts you and loves you. So, what does that say about you?”

“Okay. I get it.”

“Steve adores you Tony. Everyone sees it but you. Don’t lock yourself away. Be there for him. He needs you.”

Tony looked down at the burger in his lap. “I’ll try. I just don’t want to be in the way. He, well, he loves Bucky. So much. I think if anything actually happened, I would have been a placeholder for Bucky Barnes.”

“You’re right he does love Bucky. But not in the way that you think.”

They finished their burgers in silence. Tony showered and then went to bed. He slept like the dead for 13 hours straight.

Tony woke up a very loud knock on his door and a good natured shout from his best friend. 

“Tones! Put on some pants and get your ass out here! I only have three days of leave and your lazy ass isn’t the only one I gotta see!” 

Tony groaned. “Time, J?”

“It is 2:30 in the afternoon, sir. Colonel Rhodes has been here for over two hours.”

“Shit. Why didn’t you wake me sooner?”

“Colonel Rhodes was checking in with the other tower residents when I informed him you were still asleep.”

“Thanks, J. Alright Rhodes, I’m up! You bring that outdated hunk of junk you call armor?” 

“You bet your ass I did. I have coffee and a bagel. Now put on some god damn pants and you can upgrade it before we go out.”

The two men spent the afternoon in the workshop, working on the suit upgrades. Once they were all installed they showered and met in the lobby for dinner.

“Let’s get this shit show on the road. We have catching up to do.” Rhodey hurried Tony out of the tower into the waiting car with a smile and a “How are you happy?”

Happy dropped them off at Flatiron Room, a whiskey bar that boasted over 1000 kinds of whiskey. They sat and ordered a bottle of 40 year Glenfiddich and most of the food menu and leaned back to talk.

“So, Tones, what is going on with you and the good captain?”

“Jesus, why does everyone keep asking me that?” Tony was frustrated. He hated talking about this. He absolutely hated it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“We ask precisely because you won’t offer.”

“Well you can ask Birdbrain. I told him.” 

“But I want to hear it from you. Second hand information is never as good.” Rhodey gave Tony a worried look.

“Fuck. Fine. But only because it’s you. You know everyone said Pepper and I broke up because I couldn’t give up being Iron Man? Well that’s not exactly the truth. It’s part of it but I think she could have lived with that. I think it was really because of Steve…” Tony took a deep breath and continued, “Pepper was always the one who took care of me, but since New York and the Avengers and stuff, SI has kind of boomed so she wasn’t around so much. So Steve started to notice that I wasn’t around for meals. And that I was being me and subsisting on a diet of coffee and smoothies and sleeping hardly at all. Especially with the nightmares. Not just the Afghanistan nightmares anymore. The New York nightmares. Me, getting closed out of the portal…” Tony shuddered visibly. “So, Steve noticed when I wasn’t around because Steve takes care of people. It’s what he does. He started coming down to the lab a lot. With food. With his sketchbook. To get me to get some sleep. And well, after a while it was clear I was starting to you know, have feelings.” Tony groaned. “I hate talking about this. But I, well, I think I fell in love with Steve. I’ve kind of been in love with Steve for months.”

“Finally, he sees! I am pretty sure the entire team has known this for the entire time.” 

“Shut up! Dick! Well, I never did anything about it. I didn’t think I deserved him and I didn’t think he felt the same. So I stewed. I didn’t say anything. And I really, really wasn’t going to say anything after Barnes turned up. I’m pretty sure they were a thing. Peggy may have been a cover. Especially because she was with Angie while I was growing up. But then, when he was home, not on the road looking for Bucky or on Avengers missions, he was spending most of his time in the workshop. The day the call came in last week, we almost…” Tony didn’t want to say it again. He had told Clint but he wasn’t sure it had been real so he didn’t want to tell anyone else.

“Almost what,” Rhodey pushed. 

“We almost kissed. Inches away and then the alert came in that Bucky had been found. And in Manhattan. So Steve left to get him and hasn’t left his bedside since. So, I am backing off. I can’t get in the way of that.”

“I’m sorry Tones. That really sucks. But don’t give up yet. Steve and Bucky may never have been more than best friends. You know that right?”

“Can we talk about something else now? Like you. What’s going on in the life of Colonel James Rhodes? Give me something happy to think about Rhodey. I need some good news.”

“Well, the reason I was coming to New York was I met someone. Fellow Air Force but she’s out now. Major Carol Danvers. She lives in Manhattan. She’s amazing Tony. Smart, funny, dedicated. We’ve been dating for a few months. I think I’m falling for her.”

“I’m happy for you man. Does this mean you’ll be in New York more and we’ll all get to see you more? You are an axillary Avenger. We would love to have you for some training exercises.”

“Yeah. I think it does.”

“You better bring her around at Christmas time. You know you and your mom are always welcome. For anything and everything. You are my family.”

“Thanks Tones, I will.” 

The two men finished their bottle of scotch and discussed lighter topics. They left the bar a little drunk and a lot ready to go home.

“Happy, take me home and then drop Rhodey off wherever he needs to go,” Tony told his driver.

When Tony get out of the car at the tower, Rhodey grabbed his arm and said, “Don’t give up hope Tony. For what it’s worth, even though I haven’t seen you together much, I’m pretty sure Steve is crazy about you. Give him time.” Rhodey smiled. “Goodnight Tones.”  
“Goodnight, Rhodey. Have fun with your lady friend.” 

 

Tony walked into the tower and took the elevator to the penthouse. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts again. Rhodey and Clint seemed to think he shouldn’t let go. Tony needed to decide what exactly that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with the story. From here on out I think my chapters are going to alternate between Steve and Tony. A lot of Steve though because we are going to see bits of Bucky getting better from his POV. There is going to be a fic that is pretty much entirely Bucky's POV during this time. But he gets his own story. I have Bucky Barnes and Clint Barton problems. They are my special babies and I love them most.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys!i kind of ran out of steam on this story so it is going on hiatus for a while. I hope to come back to it eventually. Thanks for reading so far. I do have other things in the works so keep your eyes open!


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